“And What About Me?”
Learning to appreciate your child’s capacity for growth according to your child’s potential
It is my mission to help you understand your child’s question – “And…What about Me?” As a loving parent, you can learn to significantly nurture your child by understanding your child’s make-up. The BaZi, Four Pillars of Destiny’s way of thinking does not seek to tell you how to answer your child’s question. Instead it enables you to gain new insight into your child’s way of thinking.
The insightful information gained from having your child’s destiny decoded is powerful information to have. It gives you the ability to appreciate your child’s capacity for growth according to his/her potential. The question “and what about me?” is a question that your child might not even ask. But the “question” might appear as a silent “what about me?” – mirrored in the Innocent eyes when a child feels ignored, not nurtured, unloved or discouraged.
Your nurturing will fulfil that need to be loved and understood. In your child’s mind there will be happy thoughts of “it is about me” when you explore ways to increase the capacity of your child’s personal development. When you are more sensitive towards any situation surrounding the welfare, progress and accomplishment your child is dealing with, you will over think every little thing and you care way more than you should or care to admit, but, that is where your child feels your love strongly.
Have the courage to nurture your child to live a life true to self, not the life you as a parent expects of him/her. Let your child meet life on his/her terms, not on other people’s terms. Don’t have your child grow up to think that his/her childish dreams have gone unfulfilled. Fulfil the dreams your child made as a choice so that you do not regret not allowing your child in making that choice.
If you have dreams of fulfilling your child’s destiny as analysed by your child’s BaZi, it is very important for you to honour at least some of your dreams while you can. From the moment that you lose sight of your goals, it is too late to push back the clock. Having children in your care where you are aware of Heaven Luck, Earth Luck and Human Luck playing a role in nurturing your child is a blessing in itself. To nurture your child using Chinese astrology, an alternative life management, brings a privilege very few people get to realize. So honour that dream of nurturing a child using this ancient wisdom before you regret your plan of action was not completed while you could. Don’t work so hard. Over work can take over your life. When you spend most of your waking hours working very hard only to have great regrets not spending quality time with your loved one. “If only you can bring back time” – this comes up when you realize you have missed your child’s childhood years and teen years.
Don’t regret later – not enjoying that loving bond and companionship. Avoid over excessive work, only so you do not have deep regrets spending so much of your life on the treadmill of a work existence. Simplify your lifestyle and make conscious choices along the way. It is possible not to need the high income that you think you do or a home that is spick and span because housekeeping is more important. Create more space in your life – and you can become happier and more open to new special opportunities to nurture your child in activities that come into your life. Create space and opportunities, more suited to your new lifestyle. This way you have ample chances to take on a nurturing role in increasing your child’s capacity for growth according to destined possibilities.
If your child is too much of a hard worker, there will be problems if you as a loving parent do not encourage better balance between leisure and duty. Hard work is not a problem but it becomes a problem when it is taken to the excessive level of wanting to achieve perfection. When your child strives for excellence to the exclusion of everything else then that is unhealthy. There is no need to kill a love for hard work and passion for striving for excellence. But what your child needs to comprehend is that strike for a balancing act so he/she does not miss out on playfulness and joy at simple things to keep him sane and practical. Everything is a balancing act of moderation.
If you are not an expressive person by nature, have the courage to express your loving feelings for your child even after a disciplining session. If discipline and following rules mean more to you especially if you are the stricter parent expressing your love does not come easy. No matter what, it is this relationship of expressing love for your child that teaches lessons far greater than can be imagined. Your child learns from that bond. Try not to let your child suppress his/her feelings in order to keep peace with others.
Insights into your child’s destiny code will give you a guideline as to your child’s capacity to perform. If there is great capacity do not settle for a mediocre existence from your child. Your child will develop and grow with a love for expression, creativity and performance. Build up confidence but do not rush or push but be aware of who your child can become.
Keep in mind while nurturing who your child truly is capable of becoming. Have the courage to express your feelings of this desire to nurture so you do not live with regrets about not discussing with other members of the family who do care for your child’s upbringing too. If you feel inadequate, look for assistance for special programs to use to take your child to the next level.
Allow your child to become healthier and at peace with the family relationship around him/her. Create a community or “village” of a network of family members that can support this nurturing role. Elders like grandparents can leave lasting memories of stories told and comforting words heard. If there is a situation of poor relationship between parents or grandparents, release the unhealthy or toxic relationship from the adults in your child’s life. Bitterness and resentment when carried over the years can become an illness.
In the end your child is deprived of a whole lot of experience of inter-relationships. You cannot control the reactions of others, but you can manage your feelings of resentment and bitterness. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly – in the end – it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level for the sake of your child. Appreciate your child’s capacity to grow and develop. This can only happen if you as a loving parent have his/her interests at heart to create the right emotional stage for this growth to occur. Be motivated to make changes and turn any poor relationship into a better one. Either way, you win.
Stay in touch with your friends as they might have children who can become companions to your child. Or get to know the parents of your child’s friends. Learn to realize and appreciate the full benefits of friendship for your child. Don’t become so caught up in your own life that you let your child’s friendships slip by over the years. Give friendships the time and effort that they deserve. It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. It all comes down to how much you value love and relationships in the end.
Let your child be happy and you will see yourself happier. Happiness is a choice. Observe how your child likes to stay stuck in unfavourable patterns of thoughts and behaviour. Nurture your child so as to help him/her to overcome sabotaging habits. The comfortable feeling of familiarity can easily overflow into your child’s emotions, as well as his/her physical life.
Stagnancy can lead to unhappiness. Being unhappy should not become a habit. A false sense of security can make your child fear change. Fear of change can make him/her pretend to you and others that he/she is contented with the current state. However, deep inside your child’s inner feelings might be different. Introduce laughter sessions to help this feeling of being unhappy. It is possible to laugh troubles away. Do not let what others think of what you are doing stop you from allowing a feeling of being happy in your own way and in your child’s life.
How wonderful it is to be able to see children let go, smile and be happy. Life is a choice. It is your choice to find meaningful ways to introduce laughter or any other light light hearted way to be relaxed. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely. Choose happiness. Once you have this mindset, nurturing your child in emotional balance will be easy. Just as a smile is contagious, happiness can be spread around. The atmosphere you create in your home is the gateway for your child to learn how to be happy, contented and at peace.
Learn to appreciate that you have the capacity to grow with your child. You will also appreciate how your child has grown in leaps and bounds. Just as you want to be true to yourself, let your child be true to himself/herself, let him/her express feelings freely, stay in touch with his/her friends, let your child be happy in the thought that your nurturing has brought out the best of his/her potential and above all don’t let over work take over what is left of your life. Enjoy the nurturing.
Stay curious. Learning is a journey. It is not a destination.