Nurture Your Child’s Nature
When labour pain ends, nurturing begins. In the ensuing busy life style of meeting a child’s physical needs, don’t take your child’s human nature for granted. A child’s innate nature needs understanding as well as nurturing for hidden talent, personality and potential to be developed. Here in – Nurture Your Child’s Nature – I hope to share the ancient wisdom of Eastern philosophy to maximize your potential to nurture your child as well as you expand your child’s true potential to grow and develop.
Like it or not, while growing up, your parents were your first teachers. That was the first influence you had, your first role models. Now as a parent yourself you want the best for your child and now it is your turn to teach by example, explaining, giving advice and direction. But the truth of the matter is, you can only teach as much as you know. You can teach what you have been able to learn and experience yourself. However, you can look outside of the values you were given by your parents, your first teachers, for a source that you can use to uplift your child’s life to the next level of your own personal potential.
Have you ever found yourself asking advice about parenting? Where is that advice coming from? Mostly it comes from sharing other people’s personal experience. Rather than using parenting skills that depend on life experiences why not look at BaZi. By using BaZi guidance to nurture your child you are consciously nurturing your child’s innate nature as seen through the eyes of Chinese astrology. This is an ancient philosophy that decodes core values by deciphering birth data. Nurture in your child to be a happy, successful individual and to live a life to the fullness maximising personal potential. Live by them and teach them to your child, and share them with others.
1. Positive Self-Concept: nurture confidence so that your child is a radiant, magnificent personality worthy of a wonderful life. Give constructive encouragement applicable to your child’s core values and refrain from denigrating remarks or actions, even when correcting misbehaviour. Create habits in your child’s life that nurture this image. Learn how to control your own previous programming and change your child’s relationship with life.
2. As a parent teach Perceptive Self-Correction: The ability to quickly draw the lesson from each experience and resolve how not to repeat mistakes. Give opportunities to learn and refine your child’s behavior. Learning these experiences builds character and wisdom.
3. Contented Playfulness: cultivate a personality that is fun loving, happy and satisfied. Learn to live life joyously and teach this to your child. Take time to spend fun time together. Wonderful memories of such times will be forever remembered and cherished by your child. Developing a fondness for living and seeing life as the adventure it is meant to be will leave a lasting image on your child. Teach your child that life is a game and he/she learns memorable lessons. Show how to live life as an adventure and he/she remembers.
4. Positive Self-Control: The restraint of destructive emotions, such as anger and jealousy are best understood in the context of the child’s natal chart. When your child is tempted to express these negative emotions, a parent is guided by this understanding. These emotions can be dealt with in your child’s daily life. Rather than scolding and criticising or telling your child to suppress anger or frustration, use positive self-control by saying “use your words” when your child shows ill temper. Using words to explain his/her frustration is one way to handle the situation and the heat is taken off what upsets parent and child – the display of the bad temper.
5. Positive Self-Confidence: Teach your child that when confronted with a difficult task, that he/she can accomplish it, to go ahead and do it. Help to build self confidence in the early stages. This is cultivated by helping a child from the early stages of life to gradually accomplish more. Start with small tasks for your child to gain confidence. With seIf-confidence your child will take on harder and harder tasks. Always keep in mind the next level but at the child’s capacity. Don’t take the path of a hard task master just to prove to others that your child is smart and a winner. Always keep in mind the child’s capacity to perform and at what level the bar should be raised.
6. Over-coming non-perseverance, fear and indecision; seeing each task through to completion helps to nurture a love of accomplishment, determination and perseverance. The destiny decoding gives you an insight into your child’s limitations, weaknesses and flaws. Knowing what you know about your child’s personality, character and behaviour you can have a better understanding of guiding and nurturing your child’s capacity and strengths. Discipline with doses of parental love will enforce virtues. Action speaks louder than words. As a loving parent whose mindset is to engage in nurturing – practice what you preach. It is: “Do as I do” and not “Do as I say.”
7. Non-violence; not causing pain in word; or deed at any time to siblings and playmates. Explain to your child if tendency of ill mannered behaviour, a raging temper that becomes out of control, being rude; or bullying tactics creeps up in the natal chart should not be displayed. Show compassion but nip negative behaviour before it gets out of hand. Nurture positive qualities with greater understanding accompanied by a nurturing nature. Teach your child to respect other people’s feelings in speech and action. This goes a long way for your child to give respect as well as earn it.
8.Open-mindedness: that readily embraces differences, living and teaching harmony by discussing prejudices and negative behaviour, eliminating bad remarks, bullying tactics and uncalled for aggressive behaviour towards others. Teach your child that being open minded often gains respect. Children can learn valuable lessons from a parent who makes well-informed points, who acts responsibly and logically. When teaching your child, it is wise to let him/her listen to others displaying a responsible balanced point of view and standing up to many forms of argument. By far the easiest way to teach your child a balanced point of view is to present well presented, thoughtful, sensible and logical explanations of why, how, what, who and when during the occasions your child needs guidance. In turn your child will learn open-mindedness, sensibility and common sense.
9. Encourage a moderate appetite, neither eating too much nor too little; maintaining a healthy diet. Nurture a healthy attitude towards health, nutrition and enjoyment of food as a means of nourishment for a strong immune system. The natal chart can reveal some truths about health and well being. The insightful information can be a guiding light towards prevention and precaution.
10. Truthfulness: state the facts – at home, at school and in the playground. Be truthful and stick with the facts. Be open and honest in speaking the truth about events happening in the family, in the community, in school and the world at large. Encourage an expression of feelings and emotions. Respect for other people’s feelings in speech and action goes a long way for your child to give respect as well as earn it.
11. Parental Closeness and Relationship Closeness: display an eagerness to spend time with your loved one. Cultivate a liking for creating bonds of love and understanding with siblings and family elders. Develop this closeness by sharing quality time together, hugging and saying often the three magic words “I love you,” and use positive reinforcement in your household as well as in the playground. Whatever closeness or bond you build, remember do not sideline other loving members in your “village” of elders, siblings and relatives. It can cause not only a rift but cultivate jealousy, competitiveness, exclusiveness and total dependency on parent as sole provider of his/her sense of security.
12. Gratitude: Teach and give the opportunity to grow and share with other loved ones and show appreciation and demonstrate gratitude to everyone. A child needs to learn to be grateful for life itself. Enrol your community of elders – surround your child with family of aunties & uncles, grandparents, cousins and close friends. Build a “village” of support. No man is an island. If your child’s natal chart needs this community of mentors, siblings, elders provide it when it is a favourable element that will see him/her thrive.
YOU ARE YOUR CHILD’S FIRST TEACHER
Having role models and mentors showing your child how things are done helps him/her to quickly identify where your child is stuck so that he/she can immediately change the results and forever learn the lesson. As a parent, you are your child’s first teacher.
1. Teach your child to see life as a game.
When your child owns this vision of life, it opens up space for playfulness and creativity to enter everyday living instead of seeing limitations. This also cultivates qualities of resilience, problem solving and confidence that help your child to take calculated risks to get to the next big adventure.
2. Teach your child to see fear as challenges and challenges as opportunities
Most parents interpret fears as obstacles and tend to run away from them. As a parent of progress who live your life and your purpose successfully, teach your child this: develop the capacity to see fear not as a sign of what your child should not really go for. Instead, see challenges as opportunities. Show your child how to put all courage and energy into making it an opportunity to learn. If you as a parent is able to point your child forward to the better aspects of his/her nature and help him/her to overcome basic things like fear and desire, your child will see you as a hero. Teach you child not to pay attention to the fear of failure. Instead, teach him/her that, until and unless he/she cross the threshold of fear your child will still be afraid to try. Crossing the threshold of fear is more valuable than the desire for success.
3. Living the life you want your child to live is not the only option
As a parent who is so committed to making your child – live your dreams and make it a reality for you – STOP. You are banishing any possibility of making your child’s own dream come true. It will happen that your child will think of a backup plan in your child’s mind if that ambitious life plan to fit your dream does not pan out. Thoughts like: “If it doesn’t work, I’ll just go do something else.” Then this encourages a pattern of “finding my passion” instilling a non commitment to the task at hand because “passion” was not found. When any choice is made, any goal is created the real difference in its success lies in consistent commitment to make things happen. You have had your chance. Don’t ruin his/hers. Allow your child to dream his or her dream. Fulfilling your dream for him/her, not consistent with his/her dream will not be given that commitment so necessary for ultimate success.
4. Teach your child to act on his or her dreams instead of being dreamers.
Later in life, when you see your child getting stuck in his/her dreams, teach your child to get right into action, no matter what it takes. As a parent you will understand what it is like to be stuck in a job that is disliked, a relationship that is not going anywhere, feeling stagnancy set in and not knowing how to get out of the rut. Teach your child about getting unstuck whether it’s trying to fix a toy, getting out of a friendship that holds your child back, investing in learning how to ride a bicycle, cook a dish out of a recipe book, or moving the family to a new location. Teach your child to have the courage to do it. Your child should be encouraged to do this by listening to your wise words, and then acting on intuition.
5. Teach your child to always speak the truth.
First, as a parent always you need to speak the truth then your child will be able to speak it because you made a conscious effort to reveal the reality and honesty of any situation. This way of thinking and action taking will help your child to connect to his/her truest desires and inner voice without fear of any harsh judgment. This connection can be fostered through asking for an honest feedback at the end of the day, after an adventurous outing, journaling your child’s activities, writing an honest article of the experience, being mentored and being surrounded by like-minded-people who have the interest of nurturing your child.
6. Teach your child to expect the best as he/she deserves the best
As a loving parent, teach your child to expect that what he/she wants is going to happen as if it were an inner-knowing. Your child should be taught to expect and feel he/she deserves to do well in school, in the company of peers, in the playground. Teach your child to do what he/she loves, help others using gifts bestowed on him/her. The secret is to teach him/her to still expect the best even when all the answers are not known. In wanting the best your child will seek answers and find solutions.
7. Teach your child to have no fear or guilt when asking for what is wanted
If you, as a parent, have taught your child well, he/she is so connected to a passion, your child is not afraid to ask for what he/she seeks. Your child needs to be taught about leveraging on the strength of others. He/she learns too that success and achievement depends on others so seeking help and asking for what is wanted is part and parcel of a successful deal. Expressing his/her needs without guilt or shame especially if your child knows how to set boundaries on what to ask fearlessly. This characteristic will not only set your child apart but earn him/her respect from mentors and teachers.
8. Teach your child to create his or her own vision, set own goals
Knowing your child’s potentials, you can help him/her to be creative instead of fitting into society’s norms. Let your child make decisions from a place of confidence knowing how you, as a parent can help to maximise talents and capacity for growth and development of what your child wants to have instead of what your child thinks he/she can have. Knowing your child’s Chinese astrology chart gives you as a parent the freedom to design your child’s destiny.
9. Lastly as parents learn to be comfortable in letting go of control over your child being uncomfortable in the beginning of any circumstance of change
As parents you do not have all the answers. But the worst part is making things perfect for your child or trying to gain a sense of security by controlling everything. Instead, learn to let go. Like the saying goes that you don’t have to see the whole flight of stairs but letting your child take the first step to move forward despite the discomfort is the best thing you can do for your child.
Stay curious. Learning is a journey. It is not a destination.